Tuesday, June 7, 2016

And You Think My 5 Year Old is Racist....

.... Because he told you that you weren't his mum so he wasn't going to listen to you.

Umm.... Are you kidding me?!

And You Think My 5 Year Old is Racist...., Via Bella, parenting, racism, toddler, mommy, community, raising awareness

I am writing this because I come from the culture from which this person does. So it took me completely by surprise when she stepped in to tell him not to do something (which I didn't have a problem with, never have) until she told me that my 5 year old was racist because he told her he didn't have to listen to her because she wasn't his mum. 

Now, I am ALL for communal raising of children- I think it is good for them. My 5 year old should not have said that and it is not one of my proud parent moments. In fact, for the simple fact of what he said, I was more than okay with the parent and I both stepping in and telling him that was disrespectful. He is five, he is still learning and this was a great opportunity or could have been a great opportunity to teach him that he needs to be respectful. The next thing, the racist comment, that came out of her mouth was completely out of place though. 

However, why would someone mistake my son saying that as being racist?!

First off, you know me very well to know that it couldn't be farther from the truth and second, I am not even mad. You know me as a leader of girls who I advocate hard for to be in a group that accepts them for who they are. They can be rich, poor, Muslim, Jewish, tall, short, every racial group and religious group, younger, older, quiet, loud, brick and mortar school, home school-- basically every walk of life. I go to bat to make sure everyone is invited and included. You know this. Again, I am not even mad.

Why am I not mad?

Because I didn't over react- I listened. I listened closely while saying that there is little way a 5 year old, who is still a toddler, understands the social aspect of saying that to someone. Second, it really had NOTHING to do with my child. It had to do with yours and what they have experienced. That is not accusatory but it is a fact and it is a very sad fact at that. It makes me sad (and angry to be honest with you) to know that your child had experienced racism that other kids would get "away" with for being a normal kid. I feel so bad for you and I would in a heart beat stand by you if someone ever treated you different or your child different for doing the same thing. 

You have a Right to feel this way.

I can't validate or invalidate your feelings or rights to feel a certain way. It is not okay for anyone to ever treat you the way that has caused you to redirect it at my child. Who by the way, loves almost everyone. He made a mistake of saying something he should not have but in no means was or is racist and certainly should not represent whoever has hurt you. 

Your feelings are valid but how do we turn those feelings into action of change?  

Stop Creating Racism-- What?

EVERYONE needs to stop creating it. We see racism on all fronts. One "race" against another. One "race" against itself. 

When you know someone isn't racist, don't find a reason to make them. 

When you tell me, "I know you are not racist, but because your child, 5 year old, told me they didn't have to listen to my because I am not their mother, they are clearly racist."

Um, did you hear yourself? Have you ever heard of a toddler being a toddler?! 

My child doesn't care about the colour of your skin nor should he. He has had times of not listening to men, women, all races and ages. So don't think you are so unique that they would suddenly be racist against you! 

When you tell my 5 year old to his face that he is racist, what in the world do you think you are trying to create? If you hate people being racist to you, certainly don't introduce the idea to a toddler who is none-the-wiser because he has been taught better! 

You told me because my kid was defiant that I better watch myself because the school will hop him on medication with or without my permission... AND that this has been done to other kids from the school, mainly because of race.  There is a MUCH BIGGER PROBLEM because that means the school system is perpetuating racism and that is NOT okay! That needs to be addressed, like yesterday! 

Let me FIGHT WITH YOU against what is such a big problem. I will not approve of anyone treating anyone less than human. And I am known for speaking my mind- big time. I would fight for equality any day of the week and I have. I hate answering the race question any less than "human race" not just for me but for every neighbour, friend, and family member I have.

Maybe you should read how I STOOD UP and refused to acknowledge any of my girls as any different than human because I love them all.  I won't see them and don't see them for what is on the outside, but for what is on the inside. That is SO important to me. 

WE ARE ALL ONE! Please remember that!

Now, how can I help you with this? I want this to stop on all levels.

Readers-- have you experienced this? What do you think?

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