Friday, September 30, 2016

Discipline That Connects with Your Child's Heart

I really liked the thought of this book. Is it something that I can use to be able to reconnect with my child(ren) after some really hard, intense, and emotionally draining stuff has gone on? How is parenting as a separated individual?

Discipline That Connects with Your Child's Heart , book review, jim and lynn jackson, bethany house publishers, via bella, via bella's top reads, parenting, christian, christian thought, christian parenting, inspiring, self help

One of the first chapters I went to was about not letting the baggage we bring, because we are all people and have it, into our parenting. I find myself and shamefully so (and so you do as well because you are only human) is allowing the baggage to interfere with the parenting you are doing.

I was underwhelmed with the chapter though. It makes some really good points in it. I love the fact that she is using her faith in a healthy way in what pertains to her parenting and relationship to her children. I love that she is meeting them where they are at and learning to walk away.

I felt this chapter could be have been longer- in fact, it's own section. I was looking more for advise, helpful tips (more than just a couple) than the story telling format she uses in the book.

The next chapter is just as realevant if not more so parents.

In this day and age we are told to whip our kids into to shape but we are damned if we do as well. It causes so much humilation and shame to say the least. I have done it myself. I have called my kids out because they "threw the nerf ball in the crowd and hit someone with it" (as it is the book). I call it being young and parenting but also there is a big social pressure for instant parenting and I am slowly learning that this is not the right way to go.

"Slow, Low, and Listen" is something they go over in the book about how to approach the situation rather than going whole hog into a situation. I wish I had this technique down better. I love that they give you tips in here and they don't overwhelm you with what you should be doing differently. I mean, who likes laundry lists of what you need to change about yourself? No one. That is the answer. No one does. However, I did feel there could be a little more substance. I wanted to hear more.

While there is talk of faith and verses are said in here, it is not done in a way that you feel is imposing on your thoughts or beliefs. I know I sometimes struggle with faith. And if you say you don't that is a flat out lie. Because everyone does. And because I don't feel perfect in my faith, I don't like to think of that as being a major part of my parenting. Also, parenting aside from faith is super important to me because I am allowed to feel that I am parenting and not forcing a child to believe in something that they not personally believe in. They must comes to terms with their faith.

Something that is very much appreciated and liked in this book is the fact that they are being real with you in a kind way. They aren't forcing you to believe anything. They aren't saying are you wrong, even if you are. They tell you like it is in a compassionate way. They tell you how other parents are struggling with the same things in a modern age.

For example, talking about struggling with things that are superficially based. And unfortunately some of our parenting comes from. For example, "You can't talk to me that way!" It is a falsehood. Of course they can. It is how we respond to it! It has been socially ingrained in us and in the world around us to see things as they are on the outside and less so on the inside. Put a quick band aid on it. Make sure to sign the forms. Make sure everything on surface level, no matter how deep it may seem, is good and taken care of.

Misbehaviour: The Golden Opportunity for Unconditional Love

They urge you without pushing you off the cliff, to change. To see how and why the things that are being done whether you or to you  are the way they are and how they can be changed.

They go on to talk about how our kids want to respect us. I am not sure how true this is... but then again, it could be because my kids often hate their school work and fight on it constantly. Joking aside, I think they do want to on some level.

So all those "why this" and "why that" and "why me" make more sense. They need the explanations.

Sometimes we are taught that anger is the only way to be heard. And the book doesn't say that-- that is all me saying that. It is hard to cry. It is hard to say we are hurt. It is easier to be angry. When can we just sit down and be honest with where we are at and know that over time we will be listened to more both in our personal relationships and with our kids when we do that?

I am in love with this book and feel there is so much advise in here and it is broken down into sections that are easy to understand. It is also an easy read. It's not a fluff reading piece and has practical advise and things that you can think about in how to address your parenting.

Of all irony, reading this has me about 100% tempted to take my kids out of the online academy they are on because of the stress it can bring on for me and my kids. If it reduces my stress it can help me be the parent I have always wanted to be. To educate my kids in a way that is powerful and more like a world citizen rather than a bonafide test taker.

The funny thing is that there is nothing on schooling except for saying "my son hates math" in here. That is not the section I am even thinking of either.

I think this would make a great book for a parenting class! It has simple ideas and for some reason has really resonated with me as a parent, a mum, and a human being.

I really appreciate that in this book!!!

I highly recommend this book!

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