Friday, September 16, 2016

What Does it Mean to Be Good and Angry?

Congratulations--- You made it to Saturday. 
Chances are that this week you have gotten upset or angry at something.

There is always something in life to be angry about. The problem is learning to deal with it in a healthy way. We all suck at this... just so you know. Yes, you too! 

So how can we find a way to channel it into something positive?

                  What Does it Mean to Be Good and Angry?, Cross Focused Reviews, New Growth Press, Via Bella, Blog Review, Book Review, Good, Angry, Self Help, David Powlison

Let's first go over the stigma of anger. 
*  Anger is bad
* You are a bad person if you are naturally angry
* If you are angry than you are either right or wrong
* Anger is destructive
*It's all your fault

What if we thought of anger this way:
* It is not bad, (inheritally so)
* \ It is a feeling
* You are not a bad person for feelings, it's all in actions
* Anger can be used constructively

I have been separated. 
That is like a breeding ground for anger. 
I have been angry about the experience in some ways. Some in being angry at myself, some in being angry with  others in their responses to my separation. Some at the other person. 
As much as people will want to say that this is not okay, that is full of crap. They can't tell you that you don't have a right to feel. Obviously they felt compelled enough to say something.  

I wish I would have just learned to channel my anger into something constructive instead of just allowing it "to be". But sometimes you do have to "let it be". Sometimes you have to channel it and knowing the difference is super important. 

Now, honestly, my heart is no longer angry. It just "is"-- can't find the right word to use and content doesn't seem quite right although it could be the closest word to use. 

In short, I wish I would have had this book.

In many books that talk about anger, it is all about taking sides and picking them. David Powlison doesn't do that, which by the way is amazing. It is hard in the human condition to not do so. Especially when you are writing for words don't have tones the way voices do. Yet somehow he has been able to show the light in and behind the anger in the stories he tells. The perfect example being the mother cursing her child out at the grocery store. He was saying how he was angry at her but also the child. How he felt that the whole situation was just full of pain. He didn't outright call her names, say she was wrong, or anything of the like. He simply said, "where is that anger coming from?" "What a shame she doesn't have a better outlet and yet she is trying to compose herself and hold it together for her family!"

I was a little turned off in the beginning with all the God talk and references and such. Some of the biggest reasons why is that someone that struggles with faith or is angry at it, it being the social construction of what has become more socially religious than just faith, won't read it. It is a great tool, this book, that may get overlooked when someone tries to read and gets turned off to it. Otherwise, it is a pretty good resource. 

Another thing that I love that he does is realising that what you get angry about, say a car that cuts you off in traffic, you likely learn from models in your life whether they be parents or teachers and they had the same thing. Anger breeds anger. Anger is a social construction in many respects. He helps break it down for us so we better understand many things behind it. 

He has "Making It Your Own" at the end of each chapter and encourages you to highlight and write in the book as well. You can truly take this and use it and apply to your life! 

Basically, if you are human, this is a good read for you to evaluate yourself or others around you and help yourself and/or others with their anger.  This book is to help you find a good way to deal with the anger and turn it into something useful and constructive. That is always a good thing. You may even find reasons you never knew that existed behind your anger and learn the hows and whys to them. You then can make the according adjustments to you life. Of course, this is not 1+1=2 but you can try and see what works for you. 

*This book was received in exchange for an honest review* 


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