That is why when I got the chance to review a book on just that subject, I jumped at it. Because I felt that I needed some guidance through the whirlwind of what is separation and divorce. It isn't easy. Especially when there are little children involved in the process.
Separation or divorce with kids is worse than breaking up when you are just by yourself. Can I get a, duh?! But it is so incredibly intense. More than most anyone would know.
In her book, she even goes over what you should do to stay in a marriage and not choosing uncoupling. Because it is a painful process that often has one of two roads-- putting up a wall and limiting your life, or growing from it and evolving.
She says this book is for you if:
- use the pain to flush out falsehoods you've tolerated for too long
- want to emancipate yourself from the pain you have experienced for so long
- you will use this set back to liberate yourself
- you a ready to use this heartbreak to break open up your heart to learn how to love yourself and others better in the process
She has some powerful quotes that will change how you see union as cultural expectations has laid forth ahead of us. One of them that stands out right away is this one from a well respected psychologist:
"Don't celebrate the union of two people who have been married for for fifty years until you understand what the union has done to their souls."
Which reminds me of this song...
How incredibly powerful of a notion. And so true. We can live in a marriage to save face and the longevity is great but really, what has it done to both people? How powerful of a thought! I mean, I know one or two couples who have happily been together for 30 years but who knows what is going on behind closed doors.
Those people happen to be in my family. Which made telling them almost a separate heart breaking experience in of itself. Those cultural norms take an unsaid toll on relationships.
I love that Katherine gives you permission to feel what you have been feeling and that it isn't wrong.
Here are the Five Steps to Conscious Uncoupling (according to this book):
Step One: Find Emotional Freedom
Step Two: Reclaim Your Power and Your Life
Step Three: Break the Pattern, Heal Your Heart
Step Four; Become a Love Alchemist
Step Five: Create Your Happily Even After Life
Really, I wish this book had been around when I was first going through this because a lot of thing resonate with me in this book. Everything from what it feels like, how I feel, even down to how I burrowed myself in my own home. It is amazing.
Katherine, to you, personally I respect your opinion that much more because a) you went through it the right way which is what I am trying to do b) you have actually gone through it.
As a family and marriage therapist this book holds more merit to me because you have experiences both-- the good and the bad. A lot of these things I will take to heart and re read as I go through my separation process.
Thank you for writing this! It is going to help so many people.
5 out of 5 stars easily!
*I received this book in exchange for my honest review*