Monday, October 12, 2015

So You Think I am Fat~ What I think of That!

Okay, the title rhythms but this matter is not cute or funny.
I am a very pissed mama and woman right now!
If you say media has not gotten to you...it very obviously has! It has gotten to everyone!
Speaking of social media-This really needs to be shared so please share after you read!

I think that throughout a person's life, they have heard at one point or many points comments from other people based on their weight or looks. It is wrong! Let me say that now!

I was sparked to write this post after being fed up-- finally, just really seriously, fed up-- of people around me or myself getting negative body image comments from those that they know and love or complete strangers about their weight or looks that were healthy and beautiful!

So you think I am fat?
~>  I am a size 6-10 depending on who makes the bottoms.
~>  I am a size S-M in shirts.
~>  I have gone down in bust size (after having kids).

It is SO hard to hear that someone thinks your fat-- especially when it comes from someone you know and love, whether a friend, sister, mother, husband, brother, father. And especially when it is not not something you can change because otherwise you would be skin and bones and start developing diseases and cancers.

I may not have the highest of self esteems or self confidence (and this does not help), but I am not taking this one laying down or lightly. I have been told this many times in my life by many different people- that I am fat. I need to lose weight. I am ticked. I am ticked for me. I am ticked for all women around the world who have enough of this bullshit trying to please people that we don't need it from those that are the closest to us.

Honest criticism is fine and encouragement is fine. If it is needed, I completely understand it. If the person's health was affected by their weight or you were just encouraging someone to lose weight for their benefit, fine. BUT... It is NOT okay to expect your sister, mother, partner, wife, friend, whoever to be a freaking size 0. That is unrealistic and unhealthy.



Here is what I think of that! 
~>  I am not overweight.
~>  I exercise daily.
~>  I am running after kids all the time.
~>  I walk everywhere if I can, instead of taking the bus or driving. We are talking sometimes 6 miles in a day! (Now, I would like to get outside even more, but sometimes it's not possible).

Men/Partners/Husbands
~> You can not both love curves and expect your sister/partner/wife to be a size 0! That is contradictory, rude, and not progressive at all.
~> Those beautiful bodies you enjoy also give life. They change and the grow just like yours. And unlike yours, they grow human life and go through tremendous sacrifice for another human being-multiple times usually.
~> You are hating the very body that gave you life by expecting woman to be a size 0! Would you ever insult your mother on her scars or body size?
~> You want sex or love making? Do not make a woman feel less than because she is not a size 0- you would not want to have sex with a stick would you? You want something to grab on to? Treat a woman with respect and her body the same. It is not an object just for your affection. And when you do, bets are your sex life will flourish and be awesome.
~> When you insult her body, you insult your sex life- because your sex life will suffer if you make her feel less than and inferior- then you have no one, no one, to blame but yourself!
~>  If you have issues with the weight or body image of your girlfriend, partner or wife, think of this awesome novel concept-- if you stop judging her and start loving her, she will pick healthier habits because she is loved. Some women, will either starve themselves or overeat when they are told they are not good enough (especially in body image- I mean why care if the one you love doesn't think you're beautiful, right?)
~> You make the one you love question If I knew then, what I know now, (like the book I reviewed) and whether they should continue being with you!

Women/Partners/Wives
~> Don't allow your brother/sister/husband/wife to make you feel less than
~> DO try to be the healthiest you can!
~> Don't let it get you the way I did me for many years
~> DO let it roll off your shoulders
~> Don't, please don't, down another woman, either to her face or yourself, for the way she looks. To stop others from doing it, we need to start within ourselves to love ourselves, our sisters, our friends, our mothers.
~> DO empower  yourself-- run around naked in your house- LOVE yourself. Support your sister women in letting them know they are beautiful!
~> KNOW your body is a temple, giver of life! It is beautiful and we need to teach our daughters the same!

If you are a guy, and you have someone judging your image, love yourself and take the same advise I give the ladies! Don't let anything tell you who you are!

YOU! Everyone!
~> Know the person sitting next to you on the bus, in the chair next to you, your co worker, a total stranger, may have situations that affect their weight you have no clue about. Don't judge.
~> We should not be afraid to ask a woman if she is pregnant but because people think you are either fat or pregnant, which means we associate the two, so don't ask a woman if she is pregnant unless she is very clearly pregnant.
~> Remember, health conditions can cause people to be over weight.
~> Some people have muscle and lots of it and very little body fat. Don't judge someone "big" for always being fat. (They may just use their muscle to show you...lol)
~> A size 0 is super unnatural and unhealthy. You want a woman or man healthy!

I decided to even take to my Twitter page and my Facebook page asking my readers to be apart of this post!

We MUST encourage each other.




I am writing a piece on body image. Please answer the following:a) What is something you have struggled with?b) What...
Posted by Via Bella on Monday, September 28, 2015
  • Heart of Mexico a) my weight b) still my weight, but now I want to be fit, not thin c) I've lost 55 pounds after pregnancy and I have become healthier d) love yourself before you try to change yourself
  • Sydnee Percy a) I've had "lose weight/work out" at the top of my NY Resolutions list since I was about 13 (I'm 24 now). I've never been heavy/overweight but I've never been super toned either. I've wanted bigger boobs and a smaller waist/more curves but it's just not my body shape and it took me a long time to realize that. Now I appreciate what I have and use fashion to help in the places I need it wink emoticon
    b) I'm working on muscle tone; I'm not so worried about weight, it's the inches that matter more than the numbers on a scale. Focusing on my arms and abs and overall tone for my body.
    c) I gain almost 20lbs from 2013-2014 but since Dec '14 to now I've dropped almost 15 pounds. It can be done and I'm not finished yet.
    d) it's difficult to love yourself, and people say if you don't love yourself how can someone else. I find people often love us for things that are unexpected or something we often don't like about ourselves but appreciate what your body does for you and just take care of it, however that looks for you.

    • Via Bella

      Write a reply...
  • Via Bella Sydnee Percy Love it! I especially love " I find people often love us for things that are unexpected". Beautiful.
  • Summer Heide A. I've struggled with losing 20 pounds rapidly after having my stomach removed to prevent a rare and aggressive form of cancer that is caused by a gene I carry. I have never been one to really diet or feel the need to lose weight. I've kind of just wa...See More
  • Via Bella Summer Heide That is so deep! I seriously appreciate you sharing that and sharing from the other perspective-- it shows that people have health reasons to be on any side of the scale. I give you super big hugs!!
  • Jaime Blunier Groleau a) I have struggled with getting my body into the shape I would like and used to have. b) I am working on creating a consistent workout schedule. c) I have succeeded in finding confidence even though I am at my ideal image yet. d) My advice would be to be who you are, love who you are, no matter what anyone else tells you or thinks. http://partangel.com

    Welcome to my blog! My goal is to share with you my experiences as a foster parent, adoptive parent, and…
    PARTANGEL.COM
  • Danielle Fouts a) getting in shape
    b) eating healthier
    c) overcoming anxiety issues (still working at it but any progress is success!)
    ...See More

  • Diedre Anthony AS a teenager I struggled with not having a shape like most girls my age. I was a late bloomer. Right now I'm working on losing my midsection I gained after having children. I have succeeded at being consistent working out on the past. I'm making better choices about portion sizes and watching the kind of food I put into my body.

Here is one from the Google+ responses too!
 
A. Depression and Anxiety, B. Becoming more fit and healthier- physically and mentally, C. Controlling my Depression and Anxiety with exercise, D. Use positive affirmations and positive thinking- refocus on what you like most about yourself.

I wrote a blog post a while back about my Happy Journal and I've found it forces me to think positive when I wouldn't otherwise. Thinking positive is super powerful.

http://www.diydanielle.com/2012/11/happy-journal.html


Other Bloggers on Body Image! 

~> Ditching Adulthood--"Body Modification Hypocrisy"
~> Everyday Creative-- "Standing Up to the Bully in the Mirror" 
~> The Femmeinist-- "Embrace Your Flaws"  
~> Celtic Celiac -- ""Body Image & Celiac Disease-a New Thought?"
~~> Britney Garner -- "Why I Include Hair and Makeup"

I leave you with this and encourage you to take a very deep reflection on yourself!
What you see on the outside does not change what is on the inside. Remember that!
(Yes, I love me some Disney, and this rings true.)


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