Saturday, January 9, 2016

In with the New... 16 Resolutions for 2016

The nice thing about the new year is new beginnings. It is about the end of the first week of the New Year, 2016. In that you look back at what last year was and think about what the next year will bring. Sometimes that can bring anxiety or worried about expectations of one's own new year's resolutions. Rather than being worried about it, or making the superficial goals of losing weight (yes, I know) or drinking less coffee (I may need this one, but, second thought, no!). But when I am sitting back reflecting, I want this to be something real. Something tangible. Something that will make a difference not just in my own life, but in my kids life.

I found this great quote:

"Don't worry when others are unable to understand you,
Worry only when you are not able to understand yourself,
May you have a Happy New Year." ~Anonymous

Also, I don't want to measure success based on a 1-10 scale... that is not something I think these can necessarily be measured by. Maybe that should be one of mine.

So here we go... "Out with the old... 2015" & "In with the NEW... 2016" ...

My first 16 new things for 2016!

Here are some of many that I will be encouraging myself to do.

1) Believing in Myself
I am going to try to have more faith in myself-- the ability to see my own self worth in a grander way. It is so important because I want my daughter to grow up to see her potential and never back down from herself or anyone (of course gently). I want her to constantly push herself to be better. I want her to see that she is beautiful and capable.

One can dream, but first it starts with me. So it is about doing. I need to do and show this to my daughter. I think I am going to start with...

2) Less Self Negative Talk
"I can't believe I did that!"
"Why in the world can I be so stupid?"
"I am stupid! Why didn't I think of that before?"
"I can't believe I did not just do the dishes...I was so tired, but I still should have pushed myself and just get it done with."
"Why the hell did I say that?"
"I look ugly, I am not going out today."
"Why did I overact and not realise in the moment what I should do?"

Of course, some of these I definitely have done. Some more with more expletives of course. The point is though, I know we can be negative. All of us... don't try to hide it! *I promise not to tell anyone*

Usually though, what does this negative talk to oneself do? Does it do any good? Nope, nope, nope. It in fact, does harm. Not to anyone but yourself. I wish someone had told this to me so much earlier. Would have and could have saved me a lot of negativity and healing I have had to do and continue to do had I known. Maybe I was just that hard headed though... see there I go again! Bah. For real though, I am done with this.

Instead I want to grow into stopping it before it starts or as I feel it start and get to the source and turn it around. Maybe by doing things like what I am stating below, it will change the tide!

2) Daily Spiritual Practice
This could be praying, meditating, a walk in the park, anything. Something to get me back in touch with nature; my own nature. I think the daily spiritual practice, whatever shape that takes, is more about re-centering myself. I am just a better person when I am able to do that. We are always go go go in the world now that we forget to stop and be where we are. When I am able to get in touch with that I can feel the difference in my productivity.

I have to be honest that I am not an overly religious person. I did not have good experiences growing up with it and I want to get to root of why it is there in the first place. To get us back into one with nature and God-- how ever you define that. Now, I know saying that won't please people but before there is judgement, I do have core beliefs and live by them. I just think that a holistic approach is more healing and spiritual than just doing things out of trying to appease. It is by far more real.

3) Daily Gratitude
Cliche- but truth. Every day I am going to try to say something good about that day. Especially since the beginning of the year will mean I will be caring for 3 kids and 1 adult who just had major surgery which means much harder work for me overall. All is for the good. Even the small battles are for good. Just have to remind myself of that.

I am even going to take that further and try to do daily gratitude with each my kids each day. If I really want them to do this practice than I have to do it not just myself but with each of them. No matter if they had a tantrum in the middle of Wal Mart. No matter if they drew on the wall (which they best not do...) --> "I love that you are doing art and it is beautiful. Next time, I would love my own copy to keep on paper!" And for that <--, I would seriously have to walk away and take many deep breaths. I do want to turn negatives into positives as much as possible.

If I can be grateful, even today, when I am sick and dirt tired, for something, it will help my health and well being. Rarely can we find something not to be grateful for. Today, I am grateful for tea.
You know what? This inspires me! I am going to do a daily grateful post! That way you can see the accountability for it.

4) Discipline with Gentle Strength
Meaning, no yelling, but explaining as much as I can. This is an imperfect battle but an important one. I want to be able to tell them the facts and rationale for something. Now, while I am very tempted to jump guns sometimes like most parents and just not have to explain because I know I am making the right call. IE: "don't go in the cross walk without me" should not need explanation to a 9 year old, but apparently it does. In that moment, you want to yell at the top of your lungs while they are doing it so they get how important it is and how dangerous it is.

5) Temperature Blanket
Weather geek in me and the crocheter in me is super stoked on this one! Sounds like a strange new year's resolution, but what a temperature blanket is that I will crochet a row every day for the high temperature of the day and after 365 days, I will have a queen size blanket. Represents something fun but a great commitment. I will post more on this soon!

6) Read More
You know that person who checks out like, 50 books at a time? Yep, that is me. But the books are often not for me. I always check out so many books for my kids... as in I need the stroller to get them home because they would just rather take the shelf home.

If you have a list of books you want me to read, comment below with some titles and I will read it!

7) Self Forgiveness
When I fuck up, that is OK. I can be a person and be real. I don't have to be perfect. I need to forgive myself and stop over thinking things. Like "why did I say that that way? Now the person is offended and I feel like an ass." Or "I wish I would have said what was on my mind- how much what they did meant to me and stop worrying they will think I am too sappy."

8) Get Out More
I know, I am a scout leader and so I go outside everyday, right? No. I wish. I am hoping though to change that. Every day! Even if it is snowing-- go throw a snowball! I want to get out every day, even on the busiest, coldest, hottest days. I want to travel and I am not sure how feasible that is, but I am going to try to. I want to experience life. I want to live more.

9) Make My Time Valuable
This means not wasting my time with the small things. i mean, what good does that do? If I lay out the "law of the land",  I need to keep it simple. This could be from parenting to scouting to myself. I don't want to feel like I have to give excuses because I needed a break or because a parent does not read the emails (and then wants me to bend the rules) or a child needs a consequence for not finishing their work. I won't take responsibility for their behaviour and then on top of it make myself feel like I owe an explanation that isn't needed. A + B = C. That is it. It takes away from my time and my time if valuable. I need to make more of my time!

10) Get My Style to Show Me
Which is going to cover a lot of ground. That is; my funky style, my serious style, my laid back style, my tom boy style, my crazy-awesome style... I am artistic therefore my style can't be pinned. I need to be OK with that and not allow others to try to define me or for me to try to conform to whatever standards there are. I am worth it! Donate or find a use for my old clothes that no longer serve purpose to me and do something for myself. Create my style, head to toe.

11) Start Crocheting for Money
This sounds like a strange one, but I crochet and it is a great stress relief. I often crochet things for Christmas presents, but someone recently told me to crochet to make money. I am going to give that a try and if I sell only one thing-- success.

12) Have My Kids Start Entrepreneurship
My friend is an absolute genius and gave me the brilliant idea of having my kids start their own business. She started with her daughter Maria, It was started to teach her daughter about what business is like. She keeps her money, just like allowance, and it allows her to spend the way she likes.

13) Post More Regularly On My Site
Here of course. I want to share more of my ideas, my life, and interact more with and for my readers. I do this in conjunction with the many other things I do and it is hard but worth it. I think this is a beautiful platform to do this. Especially now that I am reviewing more products- which I am excited about. You can read the one from this week (and save 50% on home school resources). 

14) Home school My Way
Well, what the heck does that mean? It means, that even though my kids are schooled in a combined fashion, meaning they are home schooled but they are also in an online public charter, that I take more of my power back as a teacher and a mum. I like the options the online public charter give and the credibility, but honestly it can create more headache than it is worth sometimes. I can't back down on the standards I have for my kids and not dumb things down for them either. So I think I will put this as a resolution. If this means, 100% on my own (no public online option) than it is what it will be. Either way, whatever is best for them to grow.

15) Simplicity
Find a way where ever I can to make things more simple. It could be as simple as washing the dishes right after the meal instead of letting it sit (usually because I have to run) so that way it doesn't waste my time later. Cleaning the house kind of simplicity. Simplicity in my emails, my scouting life. If I tell parents something, stick to it for simplicity sake. This means, as much as I want to help someone, I can only bend backwards so many times. It could be in transportation, or ideas even. I just want a more simple but robust life.

16) Buy a House
I am ready to buy a house ASAP-- It is one of my top New Years Resolutions! I was scared to buy a house. After doing the math and playing with the numbers, heck no! I don't want to stay and pay someone else's mortgage! We live in one of the best places in the nation for  buying and selling- especially right now! That is, the Nation's Capital!

I am sure I will post more as the year goes on! Stay tuned!

What are your new year changes or resolution for you?

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