Monday, February 13, 2017

List to Love By for Busy Husbands

So I get to read both this book and a List to Love By for Busy Wives.

It seems like Susan and Mark sat down together to write this book. That is really cool and powerful.

List to Love By for Busy Husbands, book review, giveaway, mark and susan merrill, enter to win, marriage, self help
"List to Love By for Busy Husbands" Book Review by Via Bella

There are things about Susan's part of the book I really liked and parts I really really didn't like. That is being honest and you can read the review here. I still gave it 3.5-4 stars because I felt that it could really help a lot of couple out there and had some useful information for those in relationships.

However, I will read and review this book as if it were separate.

Speaking of separate, I have to be honest in saying that I am reviewing this as a person of a broken marriage. A marriage that has for lack of better terms, ended with separation. To me, that doesn't mean any less that this could be helpful.

Frankly, it is helpful for women to read what books are written for men or their boyfriends/spouses/partners too because then they can see where they are getting information from. Not as a critical point but as a union point. That is one thing I can definitely say I appreciate about the fact that they wrote this book or these two books really, together.

Things I like about this book:
-- On page 20, I love that he talks about not dishonouring your wife by yelling at her or critising her in front of others esp the kids. This is SPOT ON. This includes on page 21, where he says don't be passive in parenting. Two very true things!!! Helping with parenting and supporting your spouse are SUPER important contributing ways to love your spouse.
-- On page 74, he talks about forgiving. And I think it is so true. Holding hidden resentments are a lost cost-- especially because most women will know something is off. I think forgiving even if not asked for one's own sake is valuable and even then and more especially when it is acknowledged and ask is super important.
-- As new fashion as I may seem sometimes, I completely agree with Mark that chivarly is dying. And it needs a revival. Whether it be an independent woman or not, you will be surprised how much it will make you stand out and make us want you more when you are this way! It shows you care, you respect, you want.
-- His things "not to say to your wife" are hilarious and very true. Take heed. Take heed often. LOL.
-- His creative ways to flirt are great to keep some heat in the relationship.

Things I don't like about this book:
-- This book too, comes from a more conservative, tight lipped and legged, kind of idealogy which can grate me sometimes because some of the advise is too old school and paranoid in my opinion.
-- An example: On page 22, it says, don't spend time alone with another woman that isn't your wife, even a business call. If my husband, and my ex worked in a predominantly female-filled company, how he is not suppose to meet with his female boss about his yearly performance review? Does it have to say, "I am sorry, because you have a vagina, I have to meet you with another male present or another person present." Doesn't that seem sexist and off to you? I think that if you trust your spouse enough, you shouldn't need this and it shows your personal insecurities. Cheating was something I was never worried about and even if it were, it could happen in other circumstances.
-- I disagree with him on the notion that men are to be the leaders of their families and that women and children should follow. I think that it needs to be both ways and empowers both. It takes pressure off the men and gives the women something more to bond with their husbands over.
-- I think the protector is spot on. But not to the point, as he correctly puts controls them. What I disagree with is the explanation that this is a (more) dangerous world. By statistics it is safer. I don't want guys getting overly down to feel they need to protect better. If you try to protect your wife and children and you show it-- we love that. I am even okay with being all about being the ultimate protector but do so with the facts.

Even though a little old fashioned and could use a little sprucing, I really like the advise in here too. I think this is a great set of books to win to be able to work together. I wish that I could have had my ex and I read these before what feels like the end. It could have been very helpful. Who knows, I may give my copy to him to read and maybe... something will help even if for future relationships.

Come win the set of copies for yourself or someone you know... Great wedding present too! 

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