Tuesday, March 7, 2017

Why I Want To Find My Birth Siblings


So, you likely read my request and beckon for you to share the post to help me find my siblings. So I thought it would be good to do a little more background for those that care to know why I want to find them.

It's not without saying that we all appreciate what we have and where we are in life. Even in the wanting and desire of knowing, we (general we) are thankful. However, this is something that most people take advantage of... knowing their siblings fully.

I know since they, Robert and Elaine, are younger than I am, they too were likely adopted. I was told the biggest reason I wasn't adopted was because of my birth defect. I was born with a severe cleft palate and lip that left me with surgeries until after I graduated high school and most people saw it as a burden they would have to take on. Sad, I know. To be fair, I had a lot of surgeries growing up because of it. And it was their loss in the end.

And there may be another project in the works... about my time in foster care... but I am not going to tell you yet...
Anyways, back to it... 

All I know about my siblings is that Robert was deemed failure to thrive at some point. When we were taken away and in state custody is my guess. Elaine was born with curly brown hair while the rest of us were blondes.

I would love to be able to tell Elaine how I named her niece after her and the great grandmother on the other side. How that name is carried on. Whether it is her adopted name now or not, she is still and always has been part of my thought process when it comes to family.

I would love to be able to compare pictures of Robert growing up and my youngest, because I swear, in this picture, the resemblance is very strong. They are related after all! 

I would love to give them both hugs and be able show them love as a big sister and embrace them as family. Maybe they prefer hand shakes or a high five? Who knows. I know they have a new family now that is all their own and it has been that way for decades. I know this. I would hope to be able to be part of their lives as well as a sister.

In fact, this is a moment I have been wanting to start for a long time. I have been wanting to go on this journey to find my siblings for as long as I can remember. It has become part of my dreams for years. And what is to say if you don't chase them in reality that they may not come true?

I think now it's time more than ever to be able to seize the day and find a part of me that's been missing for 30 plus years.

Why Now?

Now I can be able to present to them some of the family that I found along the way that I didn't know before. I didn't even know them in my 20's. It wasn't until fairly recently that I met most anyone in my biological family. For example, Nanya Anne, cousin Chase and Lindsay, and Aunt Leslie for starters. And that just is starters. 

It was a great blessing to be able to meet a lot of my biological family that I had never met before when we went ice-skating in San Francisco a few years ago. I wish that I would be able to build a better relationship with my biological family and I'm working on that even though it takes two to make that happen. However, 30 years to make up in catching up and fully becoming family takes time. I will never stop trying to have a great relationship with my family-- biological or not. They mean the world to me.

Taken at an orphanage- I don't even remember this picture or seeing my sibs here
I have been through some unspeakable things in my life... but that is the past! It makes me stronger and makes my family that much more valuable. 

No matter what family is family and the past is the past. While we can learn and grow from it, we only have up to go. We only have the future to look forward to and that is what I'm hoping to build by finding everyone in my family that I have been missing growing up.

It's like a gift that keeps giving!

No really, because it's not only a gift for myself it's a gift for them (my siblings and my family) and it's a gift for my kids. Knowing part of who you are is incredibly important thing for each person in their life no matter what that looks like.

Sometimes it takes not having your family around to really be able to appreciate who they are and love them for where they're at. Even when you don't know them yet. Maybe this is one reason I consider those I become close to family no matter if they are family or friends. Because in the end, we are family. 

To me finding my sister my brother would mean the world to me.

I would be able to present them with an incredible gift that as broken as a gift it might be it would be an incredibly precious gift that one would hope for. That is, all of who I am and the jagged little puzzle pieces that I can hand them to help them complete answers they may have about who they are and where they come from. Sometimes, those jagged little pieces can be the very things that help things make sense to us in our worlds.

Even though my sister who I still keep in contact with was adopted she often asked me about talking to any family members we shared by blood. I didn't speak to many growing up but she and I spoke on and off throughout childhood.

And if you are Robert or Elaine and you think we may not get along, Leena and I are two totally different sisters with two different upbringings. We sit at opposite ends of the political spectrum and sometimes in ideology but we love each other none the less and are family still.

Honestly, I wouldn't expect much but I would give my all. Their families would become mine and vice versa if they wanted. 

Growing up the way that I did makes my family that much more important to me. 


This means that if you spend family will always be family. If you are a very close friend or even a friend to me you are family. This is not a life sentence, I promise, ha ha, it's a life blessing.

We are all one family in the end but being able to find the family that gave you life no matter where you come from means that you are able to know more of who you are as a person and more of where you're going. This does not mean that you're  any less of yourself. To find you it means that you are allowing yourself to be open to every possibility of who you are.

I want to finally make one of my many dreams literally come true of finding them and being reunited with my two younger siblings. I have talked about the moment over and over again for the last couple years said at this point my life it is just time to try to make this happen. I have had dreams of the momentous occasion... now, let's see if that can be a reality. 

That is where you my reader can come in and you can help make this dream a reality for me. You can share this post and hopefully one of them or both of them will see this and I will be able to find them and I will be able to see them with my own two eyes be able to touch them with my own two hands able to talk to them and have a conversation with them with my own two lips and to be able to love immensely from my heart a piece of me that's been missing.

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