Sunday, July 9, 2017

You on Facebook Be Like... Fakebook

And it is driving me NUTS! In fact, it drives a lot of people nuts. Just saying. 

What is the real meaning behind Facebook? There is such a thing as both Facebook and Fakebook and it's all in how it's approached.

There is such a difference in the two. It doesn't mean that you share every little thing you think or feel. But it does mean, that you post you, the real you. I don't care if you are Republican, Democrat, Belief in UFOs, love DIY, you camp a lot, or you are going through a really hard time in the hospital.


In my opinion, if you are sharing, I want to know YOU not this fictitious you that I wouldn't be able to recognise in person. I want to hear your opinions, even if I don't agree. I want to see your pictures. I want to be able to have something to relate to if I see you in person.

So this begs questions...

Has it only built the society of secrets?
Are standards of Facebook changing how we relate in real life?
Are the same standards of Facebook changing how we work?
Is Facebook an outlet for what we really think and feel and present differently in real life?
Is Facebook a place to put the best self only out there to boost the image we have in real life?

The reality and real test here is that it is ultimately up to individual users which can be a sweet spot and a perfect way to relate to how one wants to have relationships in the real world but it also can be a spot of contention because there are conflicting motivations for being on Facebook.

Family. Friends. Pictures. Events. Network. Business. Opinions. Self. Groups.

I am one to put myself out there (to a big extent) even if it means that I won't look perfect. And that is because the truth of the matter is, I am not. In fact, I shared that I was separated and that was a very very hard post to write for me because it was the finality of a relationship by making it public. It was very hard for me, but I live up to my word that I am who I am, and I can't make apologies for that. I would never want to pretend to be something I am not on Facebook. I want to practice what I preach.

This perfectionist standard that already existed, which some of us ✋suffer from more than others,  now is only perpetuated within social media only aiding and further dividing when the reality is that Facebook can bring together instead of tear apart.

It would be interesting to see the studies on anxiety, suicides, and more trips basically to the psychologist because of things that were either started on Facebook (fights) or those too-perfect pictures everyone posts.

Not sharing your entire life? GASP! (You are fine). 
Does that mean you are secretly joining Fakebook? No, absolutely not.
I mean, it's completely reasonable to not expect you to post your sex life or your deepest fears. And if you do, bravo. I hold nothing against you and in fact, that is awesome if you feel able to share all of you on Facebook. If people don't like it, they don't have to check your page.

That being said, you shouldn't be holding it against someone if they don't agree with the ideas of what they believe they can or can not share on Facebook. Because this is why Facebook is there. If they don't feel comfortable sharing everything, that is part of who they are and that is okay too!


This ideal of perfectionism does NOTHING...

Give me an N
Give me an O
Give me a T
Give me an H
Give me an I
Give me an N
Give me a G

NOTHING.... to encourage what Facebook is there for.

There, of course, are some rules so to speak that you should follow while on Facebook.

1) All your posts shouldn't be about you in a narcissistic way
2) All your posts shouldn't be about your butt, weight loss (but congrats)
3) All your posts shouldn't be trying to sell me something unless it's a business page
4) All your posts shouldn't be your child's poo
5) All your posts shouldn't be bashing other people
6) You shouldn't post untrue sites to start fights (political, ideological, etc)

And Reverse to be fair:

1) All posts SHOULD be REAL
2) Share the good, bad, the ugly, the beautiful
3) BE YOU on your posts, this is your wall, no one else's
4) Share your baby pics
5) Share your sorrows
6) Share your joys


I mean, if I met you in person, your Facebook profile should reflect a little more about who you are as a person. Of course, keep some things so we have something to talk about too. I don't want to meet you in person and feel like I don't know you as well--- I mean, then it is just FAKEBOOK. It's like showing up for a date where the person posts and shares, with intention of misconception, a picture of their 20-year-old self and they are 50 now. It's to me, living a lie.

At the end of the day, how I feel is that if you can't post it on Facebook, and be comfortable with sharing it then you need to re-evaluate the reason why you won't post it. Of course, this is not fool proof and all because some things really shouldn't be shared but then again...

And pull a Facebook love and share this! Let's see what everyone on your friends' list think about this!

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